What are “Love Objects” and How do They Affect Our Lives?

I became a baseball and football fan in Maryland when I was 9 years old. So, I have firsthand experience of the amazing influence sports teams can have on kids! I was giddy when the Orioles or Colts won, and depressed when they lost!!
More recently, when I moved out to Seattle 15 years ago, I transferred my “allegiance” to the Mariners and Seahawks. And, while I KNOW that it is absurd to love a uniform – players come and go but the allegiance remains the same – I still find myself engrossed in what these teams do.
This raises the question: Why do I and so many people live and die with their sports teams? An interesting question! Here is my theory/hypothesis – grounded in my own experience:
In order to survive a life that has little love in it, the child finds whatever object he can to project his love upon and thus to feel love. He mistakenly makes the object the source, and does not know that the source is within himself, being projected outwardly. These objects can be a sports team, a parent, a friend, toys & dolls/teddy bears, pets, cars, etc. These objects then become the source of love.
It is perhaps the most viable way a confused, love-starved child can feel love. As such, it is a brilliant strategy to get through a distressing childhood and keep the connection to the heart and love open. Without it, my feeling is that the child could either die or become dangerously disturbed psychologically.
At the very least children have to find ways to divert from the pain of feeling disconnected from their heart. Often those diversionary patterns are modeled after what their parents/caretakers did to divert from their pain and to feel love. As a criminal lawyer, I was shocked at how many alcoholics and drug takers referred to their choice of diversion with love…!
The first step in releasing this projection is just to become aware of it!
And the second step is to find as many ways as possible to reconnect with the real source – within ourselves. That includes finding what makes your heart sing…and pursuing it, exploring meditation, connecting with mystics and supportive people, attending effective workshops, and doing some counseling around this issue.
They all can help us refocus on the real source within.
Love…

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