STOP the inner Critic from controlling your life!

“I’d like to (fill in what you’d like to do), BUT (fill in the reasons why you don’t do it).
When this is NOT a sham (we really don’t want to do what we say we’d like to do), this sentence structure reveals a split in the mind: The LEFT is the part that wants to do it. The RIGHT has all kinds of logic, “shoulds” and “have tos” on its side to stop the LEFT side.
So what does this produce in us? Sadness? Resignation? A strong feeling of obligation or guilt? Depression? A feeling of hopelessness? And how much of our lives do we LIVE in this place because the right side (the Inner Critic) wins and we feel compelled to do what it says?
THIS is how the Inner Critic operates! This is what keeps us confined, infantile, contracted! There are ways out of this place – ways to effectively deal with and understand this controlling part of the mind.
Join us September 5 – 7 for “Freedom to Be Yourself: Transforming the Inner Critic into Inner Peace!” It is a weekend workshop at the World of Meditation Center in Seattle. For all the details, go to and STOP the inner Critic from controlling your life! (And save $100 with the amazing early bird offer!)

How to experience GENUINE ACCEPTANCE!

Genuine Acceptance

The easiest – and perhaps ONLY – way to experience acceptance, is to discover and allow ALL aspects of the mind to have a seat at the “board table!” By that, I mean experience the situation and let ALL the parts of the mind have space to express how they feel about a particular situation.

For example:

I dropped my favorite bowl and it broke. If I ask, “Can I accept this?” I may find myself uncomfortable, sad, maybe even angry. And, if I am truthful, I would have to say, “No.”

But here’s where the trickiness of the mind comes in. It says, “There is no use in being sad about it. Don’t ‘cry over spilled milk.’ You can get another one.” What this internal voice is doing is suppressing the other part of the mind that feels sad or angry. It doesn’t give that part space to be real and feel the emotions that are there.

Once I experience this, I can ask, “So, I’ve broken my favorite bowl. And a part of the mind is upset by this, and another part wants to move on. Can I accept this?”

Now the answer might be “Yes.” And then there is a feeling of acceptance that comes. It permeates the body…there’s a feeling of relaxing into the situation.

However, if I look a little deeper, I may still have ANOTHER part of the mind that is angry at the second part for trying to suppress the first part! In that event, I can ask, “OK, I’ve broken my bowl. A part of the mind is upset by this, another part wants to move on, AND a third part is angry at the part that wants to move on!”

At SOME point, I will find the bigger picture of what is going on. And when I do, I find a genuine acceptance of it! It is allowing ALL the parts of the mind to be present and accounted for that gives me this feeling of acceptance…because                                  IT IS THE TRUTH OF WHAT IS HAPPENING!

So, the next time you find yourself in a situation where you are in the process of “acceptance,” give this understanding a try and experience what happens!



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Help People Go Where They’re Going!

There was a turning point in my life, both personally and as a counselor, when I understood that healing came from going INTO the issue, into the emotion, rather than moving away from it. Until then, I had attempted to help people move away from depression, away from sadness, away from anger.
The realization was that this just became suppression of what was being moved away from.
Now, the work is to go deeper and deeper into it. And in doing that, it is building up energy to go to its opposite – the place where I had wanted to help the person to get to in the first place!
The message? Keep learning…keep learning…keep learning…