What are “Love Objects” and How do They Affect Our Lives?

I became a baseball and football fan in Maryland when I was 9 years old. So, I have firsthand experience of the amazing influence sports teams can have on kids! I was giddy when the Orioles or Colts won, and depressed when they lost!!
More recently, when I moved out to Seattle 15 years ago, I transferred my “allegiance” to the Mariners and Seahawks. And, while I KNOW that it is absurd to love a uniform – players come and go but the allegiance remains the same – I still find myself engrossed in what these teams do.
This raises the question: Why do I and so many people live and die with their sports teams? An interesting question! Here is my theory/hypothesis – grounded in my own experience:
In order to survive a life that has little love in it, the child finds whatever object he can to project his love upon and thus to feel love. He mistakenly makes the object the source, and does not know that the source is within himself, being projected outwardly. These objects can be a sports team, a parent, a friend, toys & dolls/teddy bears, pets, cars, etc. These objects then become the source of love.
It is perhaps the most viable way a confused, love-starved child can feel love. As such, it is a brilliant strategy to get through a distressing childhood and keep the connection to the heart and love open. Without it, my feeling is that the child could either die or become dangerously disturbed psychologically.
At the very least children have to find ways to divert from the pain of feeling disconnected from their heart. Often those diversionary patterns are modeled after what their parents/caretakers did to divert from their pain and to feel love. As a criminal lawyer, I was shocked at how many alcoholics and drug takers referred to their choice of diversion with love…!
The first step in releasing this projection is just to become aware of it!
And the second step is to find as many ways as possible to reconnect with the real source – within ourselves. That includes finding what makes your heart sing…and pursuing it, exploring meditation, connecting with mystics and supportive people, attending effective workshops, and doing some counseling around this issue.
They all can help us refocus on the real source within.
Love…

An evening of “Finding the Work You Love, Finding the Life You Love!” Nov. 4th – FREE!

Ready for a change in your career and your life? Ready to find ways to make your heart sing in and out of work? Then, come join Subhan for an evening of connecting and sharing on Friday, November 4th at 7:00pm !

You are not alone in your wanting to make significant changes. Meeting others with the same longing can be tremendously supportive! And Subhan will share over twenty-three years of experience, insights and understandings with you in the area of finding a career and a life that will satisfy you.

We will be meeting at The World of Meditation Center, (an Oasis in the City!) at 3412 NE 115th St. It is located just two doors off of 35th Ave.

Here are the directions!

There’s plenty of parking in front, on 115th St. and on 35th Ave.

We’ll start at 7pm.

Let us know you are coming! Just email us at info@findingtheworkyoulove.com or call us at 206-772-8897.

Help People Go Where They’re Going!

There was a turning point in my life, both personally and as a counselor, when I understood that healing came from going INTO the issue, into the emotion, rather than moving away from it. Until then, I had attempted to help people move away from depression, away from sadness, away from anger.
The realization was that this just became suppression of what was being moved away from.
Now, the work is to go deeper and deeper into it. And in doing that, it is building up energy to go to its opposite – the place where I had wanted to help the person to get to in the first place!
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The message? Keep learning…keep learning…keep learning…