Resentment

As a child, I was required to do – and not do – many things.

I was forced or coerced to do things totally outside of my natural energy flow. The list of these required activities is long and significant. (It included the food I ate, my excretion activities, my sleep, my wake up time, my language, my clothes, my appearance, my hygiene – baths, teeth, etc., etc.)

As I grew up, especially in my adolescent years, I began a process of shedding these requirements. Many of them, however proved to be socially functional or deeply ingrained, and they were kept.

Once I became a young adult, I began to discover that my life was “not working.” I found myself experiencing anxiety, worry, fear, pain, disappointment, anger, sadness, helplessness, depression, etc.. I found diversions – some of them that began in my childhood – to move away from these painful experiences. These diversions included food, sports, music, dancing, sex, smoking…and more!

And while I began to inquire and to explore my feelings, and understood many of the causes of my negative experiences, this understanding did not free me from a feeling of negativity.

What I then discovered was that although I had released many of the requirements that had been imposed upon me, I had not released the RESENTMENT that grew with them! Once I understood this, I began to explore the resentment and to find ways – especially cathartic processes like Dynamic Meditation – to release them. (Catharsis is the process of actively releasing strong or repressed emotions.)

These release experiences made it clear to me that cathartic processes and meditations are an essential part of moving through resentment, which is one of the keys to “growing up!”

If your inquiry parallels mine, and you find that resentment is still very strong in you, then why not experiment with catharsis – especially one like Osho’s Dynamic Meditation? Check out the schedule for Dynamic at the World of Meditation – http://worldofmeditation.com/calendar/calmain.html

Love…

The Judging Mind

If I am to live a joyous life, I need to know about, experience, understand, and drop the judging mind that I carry. It has seeped into every aspect of my life and is creating a living hell by constantly judging, coercing, berating and restricting me.

Although it was beneficial in my early youth – in that it helped me stay out of harm’s way with my parents, teachers and religious leaders – now, its job of coercing me to meet my parents’ and others’ expectations is killing the joy of life.

This is a big chunk of my life’s “work”. It is an issue with a HUGE impact that requires experiencing, understanding, and the luxury of time to explore!