Many of us have been so conditioned to believe that how we look and act on the outside is more important than how we feel on the inside. This is turning life upside down! Maintaining an outer facade will NOT create an inner well-being. But an inner harmony WILL be REFLECTED in the outer actions.
The only way for change to happen is for each of us to honestly explore and challenge any ‘understanding’ we have that the outer has more value than the inner. Once the tension and pain of this convolution is experienced, that ‘understanding’ will be seen as a misunderstanding, and change will be just waiting to happen. We can’t live forever in trying to gain others’ approval and acceptance, without killing the spirit within. Love…
How is it possible that we have managed to “kill” one of the days of the week? It is totally unnecessary IF you enjoy what you are doing! THAT should compel you to explore ways to make what you do EVERY day into something that touches you!!!!
It is the difficult people in our lives that give us the greatest opportunity to learn about who we REALLY are! All that is needed is to look INSIDE ourselves for the source, instead of making them responsible for what is inside.
“The worse the conditions of life, the more productive the work, always provided you remember the work” George Gurdjieff
Diversions and distractions seem to be a way of life for most of us, whether it is sex, drugs, rock and roll, movies, the internet, or whatever. We’re all trying to get away from the anxiety, worry, fear and tension that the mind produces on a moment-to-moment level.
So when does it become clear that this process of diversion doesn’t really work? Yes, it gives us moments of forgetting. But, how much of what we DON’T want do we have to get, before we can say, “Enough!” Isn’t it time to recognize that the increasing levels of “entertainment” we are bombarded with are there to camouflage the fact that we are just surviving the few years we have here?
Whenever I am in an argument, I am somewhere in the field of polarities. Another way of saying that is that I am either leaning toward one end of the polarity pole or the other.
I am insisting that I am right and the other is wrong. This attitude completely misses the reality that the polarities are complimentary, not contradictory… that the pole is really ONE!
When I understand the complimentary nature of polarities, then my “rightness” ceases to encase me and I can understand the opposing pole reality. In fact, the opposition melts away and there is just a picture of the oneness of the POLE!
An example: Years ago, my wife wanted to sell our Japanese prints at $10 each. I suggested we sell them for $5. She got very upset and said that she couldn’t comprehend how I would sell them for so little. I responded that we weren’t selling them for ANYTHING, so that $5 was better than nothing.
This opposition escalated into an all-out argument, with each of us taking our positions in opposition to the other.
When I saw that we were just creating opposites and that it would never work to stay there, I began to realize the polarity nature of the situation. I could certainly see her position. In fact we had had a similar argument almost twenty years ago when she wanted to sell valuable popular comics at a sale price. I insisted that they were worth much more…and the polarity game began.
What I get now is to do what people learning the Japanese art of aikido understand: step over to see what the other is seeing. If I hold that my position is the ONLY position, then I can’t see or understand what the other sees and understands.
And it doesn’t matter if the other stays in their polarized position so long as I am willing to see the entire pole, instead of only my position. Then I have compassion and do not need to convince the other of their erring ways!
I remember the Indian mystic Osho saying that sound cannot hear sound. Only silence can. So there is a part of “me” that is the silence that hears sound! What an amazing revelation!!
I discovered when I was “listening” to someone, the mind would come in almost immediately after the words were spoken with a running commentary – all predicated on judgments and responses to what was being said. Using Osho’s guidance, I began exploring where the silence was – just before the commentary – that actually HEARD what was being said. And in those moments, I could just LISTEN to the person without the mind chewing on the spoken words.
What an amazing difference!
I experienced the place where the heart opened to the other person; and love for them – and for all of life – became a reality, even if only for a moment.
It is these moments that have become a touchstone for remembering why I am here.
“If I don’t love myself, how can I love anyone else?” I let this question go deep inside me. I find it is the quickest entry into the reality that what I call “love” for others can really be something else. Maybe it’s a need or perhaps a desire. Or maybe it’s a moment of connecting with the love deep within me. And then I project it on another, making them the false source of it.
When I recognize an expansive, caring feeling for MYSELF, I also experience a corresponding expansion – love if you will – for others. Those amazing moments give me a taste of what the mystics have called “unconditional love.”
“I’d like to (fill in what you’d like to do), BUT (fill in the reasons why you don’t do it).
When this is NOT a sham (we really don’t want to do what we say we’d like to do), this sentence structure reveals a split in the mind: The LEFT is the part that wants to do it. The RIGHT has all kinds of logic, “shoulds” and “have tos” on its side to stop the LEFT side.
So what does this produce in us? Sadness? Resignation? A strong feeling of obligation or guilt? Depression? A feeling of hopelessness? And how much of our lives do we LIVE in this place because the right side (the Inner Critic) wins and we feel compelled to do what it says?
THIS is how the Inner Critic operates! This is what keeps us confined, infantile, contracted! There are ways out of this place – ways to effectively deal with and understand this controlling part of the mind.
Join us September 5 – 7 for “Freedom to Be Yourself: Transforming the Inner Critic into Inner Peace!” It is a weekend workshop at the World of Meditation Center in Seattle. For all the details, go to http://bit.ly/1jqB7L6 and STOP the inner Critic from controlling your life! (And save $100 with the amazing early bird offer!)
So much of our language is not calling a spade a spade!
It will be interesting to see if future generations have any idea what we meant by the language we chose in this and past eras to describe perfectly natural functions – especially of the body!