1. Is there a fourth of July in England?
Yes, every country has a fourth of July!
2. How many birth days does the average man have?
3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
12, all of them!
4. In baseball, how many outs are there in an inning?
6 – 3 for each team.
5. Can a California man legally marry his widow’s sister?
No, he can’t have a widow and still be alive!
6. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
70 – ½ goes into 30, 60 time, + 10 = 70.
7. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
8. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How many minutes would the pills last?
60. – You take the first one, then one 30 minutes later, then the last one 30 minutes later.
9. A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left standing?
9 – because all but 9 drop down!
10. How many members of each animal did Moses take on the ark?
0 – Moses didn’t take any animals on an ark, Noah did!
11. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5′ 10” tall. What does he weigh?
12. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
12 – There are 12 2-cent stamps in a dozen!